Tipping My Hand

I'm not sure what to make of the last month or so, but I'm feeling the development of a vocation within me. There is so much energy in the conversations that I've been having with friends and family recently. It feels good to watch the innovation and creativity come out of people and see the expressions of hope in those ideas. I am feeling compelled to find a way to bring those ideas to life.

More to come . . .

Latest Movies

So, over the past couple of weeks, during our recent Colorado snow storms, we have been watching lots of movies. We hit upon an activist streak with the following titles, and, I have to admit, I'm pretty blown away by what I've seen...

• An Inconvenient Truth -- I don't think that I need to re-review this one. It's good and worth watching.
• The End of Suburbia -- Fortunately, the last quarter of the film has some hope mixed into it, because the first three quarters pretty much scared the hell out of me. Oil companies buying up mass transportation and destroying it; the instability of a world dependent on oil-- both before the oil runs out and certainly after; the general short-sighted destructive nature of the suburban way of life...
• Who Killed the Electric Car? -- A recap of the brief lifespan of California's electric car experiment and its abrupt termination at the hands of California's government, the automobile industry, and an uninformed public, to name a few.

I'm going to go rethink my opinions on conspiracy theorists.

Relationship: Gen X & Finance

OK, the Facebook group is up. Its title is "Relationship: Gen X & Finance". It is my hope that a successful run in the examination of this particular relationship will lead to other "Relationship" series in the future. Everyone is more than welcome to join, participate, throw out questions...whatever. I don' think that this topic is beyond any of us, and I'm curious about the other facets that I might not be seeing.

Facebook and a Conversation

Beth and I have been having a discussion about the relationship that our generation has with debt (student loans, credit cards, etc.) and our simultaneous lack of effective representation in government...leading us toward a disproportionate share of the burden when the Baby Boomers hit Social Security, Medicare, etc.

I don't see anyone advocating for our generation and it's time that we stop assuming someone will. It is time to dream about what Freedom looks like, and if it seems reasonable that crushing debt should be the baseline for our generation. How will our physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological health thrive under this burden? How do we start families when we live in a state of extended adolescence, renting apartments, living paycheck-to-paycheck until well into our 30s?

I am working on setting up an open discussion community on Facebook, open to everyone, from "Baby Boomer Jr." to "Panicked Gen X StressCase" on where we are, how we got here, and how what we can do about it.

I am pasting a link to a USA Today series on debt in our generation, which may act as good background reading for those whose personal experiences have not lead them to inquire as to the magnitude of the problem.

More postings as the Facebook community takes shape...

Consumerism and Values soapbox

I was just ordering books for my wife's inter-session class and I ran the prices through a new "WishList" manager, called "WishRadar"...It's pretty helpful...etc. As I was contemplating posting a link to my List on this site, however, it crossed my mind that we are not only defined largely as a country/culture by what we own, but now we're defining ourselves by what we want to own.
I believe in dreams, goals and ambitions...No problem with those. However, whose dream, honestly, is it to own a Playstation 3? When did such widely available 'goods' as conversation, education, and the pursuit of personal autonomy and growth become so debased and devalued as to be undesirable when compared to the magic of digital surround sound?
I would bet that, if you asked them, many people within 10 years on either side of my age (23-43) would probably have a difficult time describing their ideas on freedom and empowerment and what those ideas mean in their own lives. For those who answered with some degree of clarity, I doubt that many would be having regular conversations on the subject, unless you happen to have asked Tony Robbins.

As I write this, I am stuck with the image of the pink goo in the Matrix, feeding an unaware humanity what it takes to keep them alive and running the machines. Substitute "plasma TV" for "pink goo" and "economy" for "machines"... -- Not that people are literally eating and digesting televisions, of course...No metaphor is perfect.

I suppose that I could go on to describe the generally neediness that's characteristic of all of humanity and the futility of the vain attempts to address that neediness with any and every device within our control. Maybe that's Part II...

Paydirt

OK, I just hit bedrock on what's been bugging me about the last few months. I was pretty angry at some things that happened (long story, not all that important at the moment) because I felt like they painted me into a corner of having to ask, very seriously, what I believe about God. I have always been very comfortable from my vantage point that Christianity looked like a great idea and all-- on paper...The logic, the mathematics of Christianity is certainly a beautiful thing. In math, the square root of negative one (-1), called "i", is an irrational number which makes all kinds of impossible math possible. It had been stuck in my mind for the last month or so as a symbol of the faith that it takes to live knowing that the destruction that Jesus experienced was transformed into life...i x Death = Life, if you will.

I was getting comfortable with yet another newly abstracted view of things, but it still allowed me a degree of freedom from a statement of my own faith. Then it occurred to me that I've never really had good reason to respect "Christians"-- which is not to say that I haven't had respect for people who are Christians, but that has pretty consistently felt like a coincidence. My thinking (and yes, I realize that there are holes...but this is pretty old thinking, habitual and subtle, so it's been tough to step outside of it) goes something like this:

• I assume that my friends, family-- those closest to me are generally like me
• If I lack respect for Christians, then the people who are like me also probably lack respect for Christians
• If I dig down and find what's truly in my heart about God and it looks distinctly "Christian" then the people I know will then lose respect for me according to the second point, above

Looking over this, it looks like another case of trying to control my environment, which is impossible. So, what's in my heart is this:

I believe that God is good and trying hard to love me. I recognize that I'm human, not perfect and the more I try to control my own life, the louder my life cries publicly, "I don't trust God and how he is trying to love me."

If anything is a coincidence in life, therefore, it is how a man who doesn't trust God can amount to anything more than a slave to his own fear.

Setting the bar

I've been accused of letting the quality of my writing drop significantly by posting footage of some kid hurdling another kid in a high school football game. Maybe so . . . Maybe so. I guess that I've gotten a little swept up into Work mode this week and my quieter, more pensive, snow-watching side has gotten bumped to the coach section, so to speak. I guess that points to the fact that I am a little fresh at always knowing what to ask for when it comes to being centered, focused, and content.

The best I am able to do at the moment is to ask for clarity about the fact that the control I am seeking in my busy-ness is based on a belief about God that's not true...Control can't ensure that what God is doing in my life is Good...What God is working in my life is going to be Good, no matter what I do.

I am pretty overwhelmed at the perspective that the last few days has given to me. Gratitude beyond my wildest expectations . . .